What is Life.

Lots of deep thinking lately.

I've seen so many people at the moment throw away such beautiful things.

-  disregard relationships at a drop of a hat, when they seem to have something so perfect, what most people would dream of. I don't understand why some people are so willing to destroy something or end something which is so wonderful. Maybe a moment of madness or just not thinking straight, I'm not sure but would love to know what goes through someones mind sometimes. 

I still have a big believe that some people are just programmed to always want something more than what they have in front of them,

 even if they are blessed enough to have the most beautiful and interesting person in their life. I've witnessed this and heard this too many times over the years. Maybe its because they are selfish, too comfortable or feel they can get away with it? - 
again this is something which I will never understand. 
why do you need to look at or go looking for someone else when what you have in front of you is the most amazing? 

 -' But, you don't know what you got until its gone', is such a true statement and probably an act of  karma for those situations.

I also feel my instinct to care for someone deeply is working terrible for me at the moment. 

Maybe I am too honest for my own good? But I believe if you cherish someone with everything you are , then telling them things they might not what to hear is a good trait, I'd even go as  far to say it's a brave move, and you really have to known someone to the depths of their soul to be honest with them in that way -  instead of bullshitting them with the opposite.

 However I feel at the moment my honesty and genuine concern is seen as something negative, sadly.

I've have been really reflecting on life pretty hard at the moment, Looking at other people's situations and asking why, Looking towards my own life and seeing where that is going.Trying to give advice and help people as much as I can, Be honest about situations even if they don't want to hear it..

I do think I am in that lucky situation at a young age to completely know where my life is heading to, so maybe such deep thinking should be disregarded completely? I feel I'm that girl who is programmed to understand that happiness surly can not be possible. Maybe I am that damaged that much? I just find it truly hard to accept that things are going right in life, I am always sat waiting for things to go wrong, or expecting them to fall to pieces in front of me.

Generally; Truth  is, I'm terrified of failure to a huge extent and i still have a huge believe that how can I be possibly worthy of any type of happiness, I'm really a pretty average girl and nothing special to be honest.  I am so used to rejection and disappointment over the years.
 Maybe this mind set will change in time..

Deep blog,
 but just had to get that off my chest. 

XOX